Do I even want to be a good wife? Now don’t get me wrong, I do want to be a godly wife. But a good wife for my specific husband is an entirely different matter. Well wait, I do want to be a good wife for my husband. I truly do. Okay, so now that I’ve utterly confused even myself, how about I rephrase this beginning to this: being a good wife is hard. Terribly hard. Sometimes so hard that I’m not sure I actually want to participate in this club called the ‘good wife club.’
A quick internet search will bring up dozens of bible verses about a good wife. In fact, the Bible is brimming with verses about being a good wife.
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.Proverbs 12:4 ESV
I don’t know about you, but the idea of bringing shame to my husband is frightening. Yet at the same time, being the crown of my husband is also a rather unwelcoming idea. I don’t want to live up to that! Not to mention my feministic side kicks in just slightly (yes, I have one) and I would like to know where my crown is! Why does he get one and I don’t?
Yet, like all things in the Christian walk, we cannot look at this through the lens of our own emotions and whims. Instead, let’s look at these Bible verses about a good wife through the lens of the gospel and the inspired Word of God.
I have been married a grand ole’ total of 8 years. For some, that seems like a drop in the bucket, and others have decades on us. Has it been an easy journey? No. That’s why looking at these bible verses about a good wife can be so encouraging. Like many marriages, we have a few unique things that make our marriage hard. Let me list just two.
When I first met my husband I had never dated. Not even once. There was one time I met a guy for coffee and I always wondered if it was a date, but looking back I’m pretty sure it wasn’t, especially since he never called again.
So, Dan was my first date, my first-second date, my first kiss, my first everything. And let me tell you what, that is a difficult situation because I’m rather independent, struggle with relationships, and am quite stubborn.
During our first month of marriage, I will always remember Dan walking down a hill at our house as I sat on a lawnmower crying my eyes out. I was 100% completely overwhelmed by being in a relationship. My default is to run away from Dan, not to him.
Our second strike that makes our marriage unique in many ways is that my husband has a brain injury. It was the type of brain injury that left him with a part of his skull removed for months, loss of memory (to this day), large motor control on the right side of his body impacted, and ongoing good days and bad days.
Every marriage has unique things that will cause tension and struggle, those are just ours. Yet, we are called in the Bible to be good wives, to be godly wives, to be submissive and reliable wives. Despite any difficulties that have been placed in our lives because of a tainted world, we should still at the end of the day value the calling to be a good wife.
Look at these Bible verses about a good wife through the lens of a gospel learner. Allow God to work in your heart to know where your weaknesses and strengths are. May these Bible verses about a good wife encourage you on your journey of marriage.
Qualities of a Good Wife in the Bible
Have you ever sat down and done a study about womanhood or being a good wife? I have and sometimes the studies are encouraging and sometimes the studies are downright discouraging. How can we live up to the standard that we see listed in the Bible? Let alone the standard that the world continuously places on women.
Take a peek at some of the qualities of a good wife according to the Bible:
- A good wife is rare (Proverbs 31:10)
- A good wife loves her husband (Titus 2:4)
- A good wife is submissive and obedient (1 Peter 3:1-6)
- A good wife is reliable (1 Timothy 3:11)
- A good wife maintains the marriage bed (1 Corinthians 7:2-5)
- A good wife is a cheerleader for her husband (Genesis 2:18)
- A good wife is a blessing (Proverbs 12:4)
- A good wife fights for her marriage (Mark 10:6-9)
Does that list overwhelm you? It does me. After all, I’m the lady who sat on a lawnmower weeping because I was overwhelmed with just one month of marriage. There are a couple of these qualities that come naturally to me, but most of them I’m not fluent in at all!
Yet, I want to offer you some encouragement today if you are feeling the same as me. Being a good wife is not about being perfect. It’s about striving to be the best wife that God has called you to be. It’s about striving to please our Lord God. Many of these Bible verses about a good wife reflect just that. There are good works that we can do to bring honor to our marriage.
Although we love our husbands, our call to be a good wife is ultimately to please God foremost. Pleasing our husbands is a byproduct of pleasing God. It’s not about them, it’s about God. Now that should give us freedom!
A Good Wife Fights for Her Marriage
This one gets me every time. God values marriage, so we should too. A good wife is one who does not become meek at the first sign of trouble in her marriage. She is one who fights to preserve what God has put together. What kind of wife do you want to be?
He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”Matthew 19:4-6
Love defined by the world is not the same as the godly love that we are to reflect as godly wives. What determines love in this world? Circumstances and feelings? Does it feel good? Am I happy? Often if the answer to those questions is no, then love starts to become redefined and sadly the marriage often ends. What we want is a deer love. One as defined by Bible scriptures.
Love as God defines it is patient and enduring. This gets tricky when a husband does not deserve the precious love of a patient woman. Yet do we deserve the sacrificial love that Jesus demonstrated to us? No. We certainly do not. If marriage is a reflection of Jesus and the church then we should seriously contemplate what our marriage is teaching us. Loving our husband as Jesus loves us, should be a daily goal. We won’t meet it every day, but it should be our goal.
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.1 Peter 4:8
10 Impactful Bible Verses about a Good Wife
As we look through the scriptures to discover what it means to be a good wife, I hope that you have concluded two things.
First, being a good wife is not about being perfect, it’s about striving to please God.
Second, being a good wife is a beautiful rarity in a world that defines love differently than in the Bible.
Do you want to be the wife of noble character? There are many Bible verses about a good wife in the Bible, but here are the 10 that I believe are most impactful as we sit and contemplate what it means to be a good wife.
An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.Proverbs 31:10-12
The Bible also describes a wife as rare and precious! Those two words are quite the verbs to live up to!
Dear wife, you are rare and precious. This does not come from outward adorning but from inner beauty. You should be precious to your husband, but you are most certainly precious to our Creator and God. The Bible stresses that a good wife is a gift to her husband, but she is also a rarity.
To find a woman who not only loves her husband well but also builds her home and strives to please God is a rarity indeed! Your own hands can work to please God and your husband.
You are more precious than jewels! Strive to be that rare and precious ruby. Do not let your beauty come from gold jewelry or outward appearance, but from within.
Proverbs 31:27 goes on to talk about the ‘bread of idleness’. This is another good reminder that we are not called to sit around and watch Netflix all day (although there is a time and place for all). We are to be productive with our time and have willing hands to do the work.
He who finds a wife finds a good thing
and obtains favor from the Lord.Proverbs 18:22
Being a Good Wife isn’t About Being Perfect
Being a perfect wife is not the goal. Being a wife that pleases our Lord is the goal. Does that mean we shouldn’t love our husband well or make him a priority? No. It just means that the overflow of pleasing God is all the good things for our husbands. You should strive to be a wife of imperishable beauty.
A beautiful chapter in scripture is Proverbs 18. It is a poetic chapter of scripture that talks about humility, fools, a man’s haughty, a crushed spirit, and the power of the tongue. In the midst of all the nuggets of truth and wisdom, we find that a wife is a good thing.
Woman, are you a good thing? Are you a good thing to your husband? Are you walking in a way that pleases the Lord and as a result brings your husband a good thing? In this culture, we so often focus on independence and a Christian version of feminism that still misses the biblical mark.
Being a good wife is not about being perfect, but we should be a ‘good thing’. Think about your marriage, are you a good thing to your husband? If you hesitate in this, that is okay, it means you are humble! Now, think about it again but practically. Are you a good wife?
House and wealth are inherited from fathers,
but a prudent wife is from the Lord.Proverbs 19:14
The dictionary defines prudent as “acting with or showing care and thought for the future.” A good wife will be thinking about the implications of her actions and the actions of those around her. She is carefully thinking through the future and analyzing what decisions will best suit her family.
The head of every man is the Lord, but the head of every woman is her husband. Sometimes being a prudent wife is knowing and living that simple truth out. It’s a hard truth, but one that will always be worth living out. Ask the holy spirit to guide you in this if you have a hard time submitting to this truth.
and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,Titus 2:4
What is the difference between a Proverbs 31 woman and a Titus 2 woman? It’s a fascinating study and one that I had never contemplated until I ran across this article. Simply put, as the Proverbs 31 older woman grows and matures, she will become a Titus 2 woman who is able to train, encourage, equip, mentor, and disciple other women around her. How did the Proverbs 31 woman become who she is? By being shown by younger women how to live a godly life.
Young wives still have the ability to minister to other women. Never discount your age!
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.Ephesians 5:22
This one is a hard one and it honestly gets the most flack from both the secular world and the Christian world. Just like Christ is the head of the church, the husband is the head of the wife. It’s almost as bad as the verse about the wife being the weaker vessel (1 Peter 3:7)!
Do we truly need to be submissive to be a good wife? Yes. But we need to remember that submissiveness is not the same as bondage. We love our children not out of bondage to them, but out of love. Likewise, we submit to our husbands not because of bondage, but as an outpour of our love and affection. Does that mean it’s easy? No. But then again loving our children sometimes isn’t that easy either!
A little phrase that often gets missed in this passage is the last part, “as to the Lord.” Being submissive is not something that should be foreign to us. We should be submissive to our Lord and God each day!
I do want to note something here. What if you don’t have a good husband? What if you are married to an alcoholic, abuser, or something else along those lines? Are we still called to submit? In short, yes, but it become more complicated. Seek the advice of a pastor and trusted friends.
to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.Titus 2:5
We continue in the Titus 2 chapter with an imperative verse to understand. Turn your attention to the end of Titus 2:5 and read the last part, “that the word of God may not be reviled.” In the modern context, this would be a place where we would place a ‘mic drop.’ We do not do these things to please our husband, or even ourselves; we do these things so that the word of God will not be reviled!
Reviled definition: To assail with contemptuous or opprobrious language; address or speak of abusively.
Also, note that the wife is working at home. She is attending to the ways of her household. That does not necessarily mean that she does not have a job. If that was the case, I wouldn’t be writing this blog post! But it does mean that the ways of her household are her first priority
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,Proverbs 12:4
but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.
It saddens me that the feminist agenda has infiltrated my mind in such a way that I still need to talk my way through a verse like this. I remind myself that being a crown to my husband is not a demotion. It is an honor. To be so valued, beautiful, and loved that you are a crown to another human being should be a great honor.
Have you ever witnessed the damage that a quarrelsome wife can bring to a marriage? Once you have witnessed it, you will hopefully strive to never bring that into your marriage.
Do you want to be a virtuous woman? Start by being an excellent wife to your husband.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.Genesis 2:24
It’s hard to understand the mystery of marriage in verses like this. A man is commanded to leave his father and mother and cleave or hold fast to his wife. Essentially this is a verse that the married couple is making a new family. They will go their own way.
Marriage is a beautiful reflection of Christ and the church, and Christ left his heavenly home to be on earth for a time. In the same way, a man leaves his family to be with his wife.
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.Hebrews 13:4
So often we skip right over the first part of this verse and ruminate over the ending of the marriage bed, but let’s head back to the beginning of the verse. Let marriage be held in honor among all. As we just read above, marriage is a mystery and a reflection of Christ and his church. It is not something to be taken lightly and should be held in honor.
By acknowledging that your own body is not your own, you will find many blessings as you give yourself over to your husband in this area.
Do not live in sexual immorality, you will find there is nothing to gain.
1 Timothy 3:11
Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things.1 Timothy 3:11
We end our look at Bible verses about being a good wife with this admonition from 1 Timothy 3:11. It is a reminder to be dignified, sober-minded, and faithful. This chapter contains the requirements for an elder or overseer of a church, and verse 11 includes what their wife’s behavior should be. However, these are good characteristics to embody even if you are not an elder’s wife.
The Bible says that the elders’ conduct of their wives should be pure and dignified. We should strive for that even if we are not an elders wife!
Having a quiet spirit is not a bad thing, you will find that your quiet spirit will gain you a lot of traction in high-stress situations.
A Prayer for a Good Wife
These Bible verses about a good wife are in no way exhaustive. There are many more Bible verses about marriage and our role as a wife that could be listed. This is just a small taste and overview of a much grander picture and design. You can be a wise woman in a culture that does not value morality. You will recieve a good return of living the life of a godly and good wife!
Dear God, as I look at these Bible verses about a good wife, I see the progress that I’ve made over the years, but I still see all the ways that I fail you and as a result my husband so often. Teach me to want and desire to be a good wife. One that pleases you and therefore brings these good things to my husband. In all things may I glorify you. Amen.
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